Story Thread

I thought it would be fun to have a story thread on this forum

Rules:

1. One sentence per entry maximum
2. Once you post an entry you can't post again until someone else has
3. If you end the story you must start a new story
4. Don't post anything that will break the forum rules

Ready? Go!

There once was a...

bear named Tom.

Who had sexual relations with a child.

Tom The Bear, felt guilty about his actions and looked up to his mentor Smokey for advice and decided....

he would become a pedobear, at which point Father Boor exiled Tom from Bearville with a cigarette burn on his bare bottom.

As a masochist, Tom enjoyed is bare bottom burn on is bear coat, but ran off screaming back at Father Boor, "But I am not a pedobear, father. You don't get me! I'm a PANDA BEAR!"

(Smokey, who may come up later, distinguished the cigarette before a forest fire started.)

Father Boor responded "Pandas are not technically bears"

Then one nippy night, Tom heard raucous laughter echoing through the vast forest, densely populated by massive oak trees.

Tom asked some villagers the next morning about the awful laughter he had heard that night and their response was, "It's probably Freddy."

Freddy was the drunk of Bearville that had no future in sight that didn't involve more booze and debt.

Alone, in the forest, Tom reflected on his past transgressions and pondered his own identity as a "Panda Bear", getting visions of his abusive father, Boor, and his mentor, Smokey, and even the mysterious, drunken, Freddy of Bearville, and then.....

Greg the penguin committed suicide in utter sadness, by waiting for a glacier to slowly crush him.

Tom realized his awful mistake of returning to his dark ways and ran off into a blizzard in hopes that he will freeze to death.

Instead of killing him, the blizzard thought Tom needed to start a new life and took him to Florida.

Despite hanging himself, it turned out the blizzard struck down the rope that was hanging him, and he went to Florida with the rope marks still on his neck.

Since Tom was a talking bear, he quickly got a good job at McDonalds as a cashier.

But one of the inmates, Ralph the Rapist, wanted to sell Tom to a circus for money, so he made Tom get out of jail.

Then Tom had a vision, and met the almighty HAGART, who declared, "This story has no point thus far and needs a climax!"

(It was just a vision though and Tom did not heed it.... :D )

Tom decided he should pull himself together, and have a point to his life, he wonders why he decided this, but then assumes it was the Chloroform the rapist gave him.

Rule breaker =(

Then Tom woke up, realizing that everything was a dream, and is actually an atheist named Matt.

And he only dreamed he was a magical cat who could transform into a tiger.

(PS- I hate the scientific inaccuracies of the story)

There happy?

Always

The cute cat's name is Pizzafeet, cause his feet are shaped like pizza, and his slaws are always red from the blood of his enemies.

Scientists captured the cat to study its rare genetic mutation, and discovered the gene that could lead to rapid physical transformations (with this research having baffling implications in the fields of biology and neuroscience, because scientists could now use the knowledge of the gene to create a super human race- called Homo evolutus).

Sadly, it wasn't any genes that made the cat special, it was the lucky jeans that the cat wore under it's epidermis, but the scientists had no clue about that.

PK Jacker: You cannot deny what I said. You have to go with the flow. :roll:

That's one of the basic rules of improvisation.

When the scientists told their C.E.O. about the lucky jeans, they lost their jobs and now they work at...

The End.

Once Upon a Time...

with his faithful fairy companion named, "Stink".

(Navi's cousin).

Then the almighty Hagart appears, and proclaims, "Why is Stink Dead? Damn you Tingle! It would have been a funny way to start every sentence in this adventure with 'Link and Stink'. Did nobody get it?" But then.....

In the dungeon, Link is greeted by the mysterious recurring image of Hagart, a bald man with a shiny scalp and a purple goatee flowing down to his toes who proclaims, "Wait, what?!"

(He would speak more, but didn't want to break the 'one-sentence' rule) ;)

...

...which Link can't afford so he goes pole dancing at a gay club to gather those shiny gems stuffed in his thong until he can afford it.

(He wished he could get more red ones, but those cheap skates only had greens. OUCH!)